J*A*S*M

* 18/12/2011 :-( Absurdist theatre on the screen and nothing else. Leaving doesn’t have that much charm, it’s not very funny, but that doesn’t matter if you are willing to listen to it. What’s a little amazing, and also a shame, is that after an entire life wishing to make a film, Havel didn’t make his (unfortunately) only film more “film-like”. But I don’t regret the ninety minutes I spent with Leaving. Václav Havel was just too smart a person to make a silly or uninteresting film. And after reading the comments of certain individuals, he’s someone we might have not been worthy of as a nation. Honour your memory.

Well, I don’t know. Has Herzog made a documentary that delves philosophically on human history? Or is he simply taking the piss and, with a basilisk smile, is giving pseudo-intellectuals fodder to get bogged down in unreadable meaningless reflections full of foreign words? Is he making fun of all those scientists who have dedicated their lives to figuring out which bison prehistoric people painted before and which one later – because it doesn’t fucking matter? Albino crocodiles, a man trying to find a cave by smell, the American anthem played on a human bone whistle, a scientist telling in broken English he must "absorb" the experience of visiting a cave… I’m inclined to say that Cave of Forgotten Dreams is a cute and subversive joke by Herzog at the expense of those ethereal beings who ponder over everything that can be pondered over.

Cool. Cool, cool, cool. It’s not bad sometimes to look at how things work in countries with different mentalities. A fantastic family-court drama that, among other things, captivates with how not a single one of the protagonists is morally spotless. I’ve no idea whether the Iranian legal system works exactly like this (in fact, my Central European prejudices led me to believe that it’s much worse), but it doesn’t matter. An entertaining and thrilling film and a great candidate for the Oscar in the foreign language category.

The best and most entertaining baseball film I’ve ever seen. Before watching it, I wasn’t expecting it to deliver a great experience because baseball is all Dutch to me, but the fears were unwarranted. Brad Pitt’s great performance and the equally great script didn’t allow my attention to stray away. Thumbs up and I’m rooting for Brad at the Oscars.

Soderbergh doesn’t give a shit about the audience. Zero emotions, little tension, full of stars but without any of them shining too much on screen. Contagion is simply an unbiased and detached look at a global pandemic, and it’s actually that austerity and inhumanity what brings to the surface the horror and hopelessness of the situation. It probably only needed to dig a bit deeper into the issue, the last half hour felt too short. 7/10

Wow! This was painful disappointment. A very promising line up featuring Jim Sheridan as director, with Daniel Craig, Rachel Weisz and Naomi Watts in the main roles, but a terrible product that doesn’t work at all. The moment you start thinking a little about it, you realise that it doesn’t make any sense. And yet, the premise is not pointless, it just needs a completely different approach.

A very good political drama set in the backstage of American politics. Great actors, the script relies a little too much on coincidences, but it doesn’t matter. It’s just the right length, so even those who aren’t too much into politics shouldn’t get bored. 8/10

For me, between normal two stars and guilty-pleasure three stars. Whereas the first two Hostel films worked on the well known fact that the Balkans begin behind Brno’s main railway station, the third part follows the law of “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”. It’s cheap, stupid, illogical, but at least tries to surprise (and it quite manages it in some details), so I had more fun than expected. Fairly OK for a video film.

I hate it when I have to give an average rating to an above-average film! But there’s not other way about it, MMMM simply didn’t deliver an above-average experience. It’s terribly slow, long and unsurprising, but at the same time, it’s very well made and performed, atmospheric and oppressive.

A stupid version of The Descent, where the cave is replaced by a bunker and the female speleologists by a gender-correct bunch of unlikeable individuals. From the middle on, I pressed fast forward because I’m too old to properly watch every nonsense. And this one is not improved even by the plentiful gore. Only a competent director could improve it.