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Machete (Danny Trejo) is back in Robert Rodriguez's Machete Kills and this time on the right side of the law. Recruited by the President of the United States Machete is given a mission that would be impossible for any mortal man. He must take down an eccentric billionaire arms dealer who has hatched a plan to spread war and anarchy across the planet. With a bounty on his head Machete breaks all the rules as he is hunted at every turn by an all-star cast of deadly assassins. (Icon Home Entertainment)

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J*A*S*M 

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English This is no longer grindhouse, this is Asylum :-( The first part three years ago was a perfect homage to American trashy movies from the 1970s and I had it in my TOP 10 of that year. But this is something else. Without any restraint, reason or knowledge of what a healthy dose is, so basically unwatchable. If a Mega Piranha fell from the sky and Danny Trejo bit its head off, nobody would be surprised. Too much Rodriguez. ()

Kaka 

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English The first film was a nice parody, full of humor and irony, it was clear that the people behind it relaxed and enjoyed it. The sequel is more commercial, filled with celebrities without any potential for the given theme (so why recruit "serious actors" for a parody?). I could understand Steven Seagal in the first film, and it was okay, but not Mel Gibson. The female cast is very above average and also the only thing that can be praised. It's a jumble that lacks image, direction, and style. ()

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Malarkey 

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English This was a pretty dull blade compared to the first Machete film, which, in hindsight, feels like a masterpiece next to this one. It’s missing that wild, over-the-top finale where the bad guy gets his guts blown to bits, and there's no over-the-top poolside action where Machete proves he's the ultimate badass by seducing both the enemy’s wife and daughter. This time around, Machete just didn’t go all out. Sure, there’s plenty of killing, but it never quite hits that epic level. I’m giving it three stars purely out of love for Machete—and I’m really hoping that when he heads to space, everyone loses their minds. Including critics, who won’t understand a single scene and will probably declare that the writer lost it while wrapping up this trilogy. ()

D.Moore 

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English Terribly stupid, but (again) unfortunately not in a funny way. That makes it even worse than the first film, which made me laugh a few times. This time all the bonus points were taken care of by Mel Gibson (Star Wars fan), but otherwise it’s a really terrible boring mess. And the third installment will most likely be the same thing, but with light machetes, clones... etc. Nevermind. ()

Othello 

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English The basic disconnect between public opinion and Rodriguez's work is that Rodriguez does not create tributes to (m)explotation or grindhouse, but to xplotations and grindhouse. Quite logically, he annoys the liberal snobs by referencing nothing but himself, the cheapness doesn't play well, and as significantly more ambitious as it is than its predecessor, it doesn't obscure the fact that someone has kicked ten mil off the budget compared to the last installment. Acknowledged shit is still shit, but I still consider it a cool obscurity of our times that this is able to make its way into global cinemas. And I think that's kind of cool. ()

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