The Expendables 2

“My shoe is bigger than this car!” Arnold Schwarzenegger is the Ed Wood of Hollywood actors. Hardly any film this year will bring me more delight and a bigger testosterone rush than The Expendables 2, an inane B-movie with cheap digital effects and great catchphrases and genre references. And the fact that the best actor playing the movie’s best character is Jean-Claude Van Damme will go down in history. (04/11/2012)

After what felt like an eternity of waiting, I finally made it to the theater—and it was absolutely worth it. The Expendables 2 is one of those rare action movies that comes around once in a lifetime... well, now twice, but this time with an even more stacked cast. For any fan of old-school action films, seeing this lineup is pure magic. There are no words to capture the excitement. I haven’t been this hyped for a movie in ages, and it didn’t disappoint. Growing up, I spent Saturday nights glued to action films on TV, which gave me a lifelong love for Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis, and yes, even Chuck Norris! Later on, I became a fan of Stallone, Lundgren, Statham, and Jet Li. Watching all of them together in one film was nothing short of a dream come true. Each character oozes charm, the one-liners are non-stop, and seeing Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger poke fun at themselves was a highlight. The action is top-notch, and the story? Simple, but perfectly fitting for this kind of film. What more could an action fan ask for? Honestly, if you grew up loving these legends, the plot is the last thing you care about. It’s all about the nostalgia, the personalities, and the sheer fun of it all. Some people might not get that (looking at you, critics who think every film needs a deep story), but for me, this was a huge experience. One of my childhood dreams came true, and that counts for a lot. Oh, and Jean-Claude Van Damme absolutely crushed it as the villain. His performance was awesome, and that final fight? Instant classic. (19/09/2012)

Finally someone understands that nostalgia for action movie style from the eighties with their wall-poster heroes can today function only as tongue in cheek. And precisely because it doesn’t take itself seriously at all, unlike part one, gives this some real oomph. On top of that, the action is easy to follow, not that modern, epileptic style of editing, like in part one. So this time I would definitely consider buying an old, second hand VHS of this with its consecutive monotonous Czech dubbing. (24/12/2012)

The first one earned points mainly for effort and for ultimately managing to cross the finish line. The second one sets a faster pace from the very beginning, holds it without stumbling, effectively sells the emotions of tough guys – and only then reveals its main weapons. Personally, I think that even though I really like Sylvester Stallone and Jason Statham, I am certainly not the primary target audience for this film. But just tell that to the final showdown at the airport, which must invigorate the senses of every viewer who has ever enthusiastically cheered on an action film. Whether it's anyone from the most anticipated trio shooting, Jean-Claude Van Damme delightfully delivering his lines or Chuck Norris charming the viewer with a joke about himself, this reached its climax in the final shootout. (12/09/2012)

Objectively, with a runtime of under two hours, you just can't give all the characters the space they undoubtedly deserve. Beyond that, it’s a pure action spectacle that works exactly as I wanted it to because it doesn’t underestimate fan intelligence - this is the only way to get the action going, which is secondary because the primary thing is to ride the wave of catchphrases that beat into the mummified icons of most of the people involved. (13/09/2012)